Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You're like the curious george of whores
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
