Duck Duck Cougar?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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