Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
