I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
