I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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