I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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