Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Congratulations! We have a period
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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