I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
