the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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