i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
