Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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