BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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