Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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