I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
