took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
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I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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