Christians are straight up FREAKS
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
