Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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