I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
