hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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