Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize