You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
