It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
