And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
