Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
