you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
