I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
