so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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