She is in my trunk
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
