I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
