tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
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I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
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you never un-have a 4some
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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