It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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