I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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