glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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