I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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