She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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