i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
time to smoke my breakfast
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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