Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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