I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
