My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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