We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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