tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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