even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
