Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
babies were throwing up all over the place
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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