Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
false alarm, still single
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
