Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
and you said cock pushups were impossible
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
