Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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