wake up i wanna do it froggy style
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
