She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
