We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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