NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize