I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
is wine microwaveable?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
