is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
