I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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