you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
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Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
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i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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