no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It's blow job season.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
