I showed him my bush... on skype.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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