you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
