Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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