like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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