he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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